The Porterville Post | On-Line News and Info
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Humor
:
Dear
Crabbie
 (Oct 26 2013) - DEAR CRABBIE : Designed to Spread a Little Humor
Dear Crabbie: My wife wants me to take dance lessons. But I have all the grace of a wounded moose on the dance floor. What should I do? - Dancer without any stars
Dear Dancer: Choose a decent instructor: The Fred Astaire Dance Studio - excellent choice; The Miley Cyrus Grind and Groan Dance Academy - not so much.
Dear Crabbie: Can you please explain the difference between a misfortune and a calamity? - Synonym Challenged
Dear Syn: If a Congressman falls into the Potomac, that would be a misfortune. If someone pulls him out, that would be a calamity.
Dear Crabbie: I am recently married and discovered my new husband expects me to clean house regularly, keep the dishes and laundry washed, and always have a hot meal on the table when he arrives home from work. I mean, really? - Newly Wed and Dismayed
Dear Dismayed: My first hubby tried to pull this on me, too, shortly after marriage. But within a week the vision returned to his right eye, and his arm had healed enough so he could hold a broom or microwave a TV dinner on his own.
Dear Crabbie: I live in LA and believe I saw Lindsay Lohan driving down the street the other day. If I should see her on the road again, how could I get her attention? - LL fan
Dear LL fan: Don't even try. Get off the street and seek shelter immediately.
Dear Crabbie: Apparently, the Bradford Regional Medical Center in Pennsylvania is now the first hospital to treat Internet addiction. I'm thinking of going, but I live on the West Coast. Do you think it would be worth the trip? - Virtually Addicted
Dear Addicted: I'd check first, to see if their therapy is available on-line.
Dear Crabbie: My family fights, cusses and abuses each other, has no talent or interests, half of them are divorced, and the other half are in jail. What should we do to be noticed and picked up by a cable channel for a reality show? - Hopeful Star
Dear Hopeful: Not a thing. Several TV execs are on their way to sign you up right now.
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Estab. Jan 2008
Welcome to the newest on-line new service in the Porterville area. Our goal is to report the right news at the right time. In doing this, we believe that the community will get a greater sence of being connected.
The Right News @ The Right Time
Our second goal is to report above and beyond the main stream media.
Politically Inform and Educate
Our third goal is to politically inform and educate the public at lareg.
A Conservative Publication
The Porterville Post is a conservative publication and news service and when the Post makes a mistake in our reporting, we'll address it "Right Here" and if needed, with an appology. Please feel free to contact us with your comments or suggestions.
Writers | Columnists | Reporters
The Post, in the new few weeks, will be looking for new writers, columnists and reporters. We understand the need for new writers to have the chance of starting a new career and we'd like to offer a free internship at the Post.
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